well, just finished my muet papar which i wanted to forget about it by now. Form 6 is always all about quality but not quantity.and it just hit me today when i was writing my long essay. Insane huh? that time was truly not a good moment to gain new insight of LIFE== but i just did.i wondered did i actually focus when i was pouring the words out on the paper.ish. so it is all about GREEDS.my greeds for more words just ended me with a serious lack of time case.fine, i finished that,not up to my satisfication and that was truly awful to me.Come back to what i realised, instead of saying it as greeds,i would say in other words, humans tend to start something perhaps in a perfect way, but dont know the way to put an end to it. everything should always be done and carried out in a moderate way instead of going towards the extreme side. Somehow, we always go into something to 'make a living' but end up forgetting how to live because we tend to succumb to the temptations, satisfications and glories, power , neglecting the need to stop somewhere someday.and when u finally realised, it was too late.life is so, sometimes, u just made a decision accidentally,not knowing it will actually lead u to live under serious and unbearable consequences.
AND another thing.the so-called quality but not quantity thing always seem so unfair in my eyes,i dislike the quote to some extent.fine, just realised the importance of train of thoughts before u start something just to make sure everything goes smoothly. teachers always teach us to think before we write instead of start writing right at the moment u get the paper.well, i tried today and ended up i guess i had better thoughts and better organised essay.Despite all that ,i hate to mention,i had the most terible hand-writing today.ewww. anyway that was not the only flaw in my muet paper,sad to say but i have decided to IGNORE IT.
well, i faced a problem these days which i never thought i would have ever experienced this. the overwhelming pressure just pushed me to the brink of nervous breakdown but i just got through this by leading a very healthy lifestyle with exercising.haha.insane huh?that helps. Exams got some of my friends and i together because we share the same common aim i think and we are not those selfish type.thanks to pei suen for always helping me as well as himself by texting me all those syllabus and all that.subconsciously, i think he gives me a lot of courage and inspiration in a very good way=)
however,despite of getting this friendship back in one which i am truly glad with the secureness it gives,i feel something dropping off at the far end.another friendship is fading. i don't really hope to say in this way, where i actually decided to ignore it to see the next progression.in the name of exams, i feel the distance in between. seems so near but so far away. i dont feel comfortable anymore where i start to question whether we are compatible enough or not. perhaps i seem like a person who can accept many things,but i can get hurt too. cheerful days are gone with the blowing wind when we can laugh about things all day,it seems like i have underestimated WORDS spoken as the most powerful weapon to tear apart people's hearts. there are moments when words can just shut my mouth when everything is right because it strikes through me so badly. i am so afraid to be looked down on but sometimes people are just too honest.should we thank the honesty given although the truth sometimes can be so hurting?okay, people hate lies.yes, of course,who likes to be covered up living in a fake world where u don't know what else can u hold on to in life?but i think somehow truth should be revealed in a more acceptable way. give people some time for acceptance but not too much at one time.
Its time for me to put on my thinking cap on how to combat this.it is quite a challenging one this time. I don't want to define frienship because everyone deserves to be a friend to us and i accept whoever that comes.i can bear with many things.i just hope friends beside me can be an encouraging one because i see things in a positive way everytime.who doesn't need a boost when u face something u are really afraid of such as exam to me==? im always the one who love to motivate people and to be motivated.Shouldn't a friend be an encouraging one?i always hope so. there are always chances in mankind, what matters is, are the two sides willing to put efforts in a relationship,and if they do, there is always still a long way ahead towards better ones instead of falling apart. no matter what,i always love u, i do. and it will never change. just hold on to that.
rainy night.
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