jpa

time is limited.God gotta blog FAST.

sooo, i didnt get jpa and it suckss. well, i should have expected the result but yet, it hurts a lot when i realised that its an undeniable truth now.okay i never think i can feel that bad, i wonder why.the dissapointment showed on my mum's face would have killed me,luckily i survive. hmm,2 of my best buddies get that.congratulation to my dearest chiang tieng and wan ning. and u know what, i thought i will envy.yes,i admit i envied but i do congratulate them sincerely.Things change alot after f5 ,im glad i m proud of them from the bottom of my heart and the feelings are just undescribable.sadness for myself mixed with happiness for them.its complicated right?

I think im in a rebellion stage,going through perhaps? complicated relationship with my mum.Maybe the pressure given by her just drives me mad.when she keeps asking me abt jpa stuff,i m like ...... pls just stop asking why didnt i get it.and for sometimes,i feel the urge to tell her that,well,ur daughter is going to be a doctor!the pathway to achieve the ambition is not that easy okay' fine,i know its only my excuse ,so none of this comes come from my mouth,i just keep silence.what can i do?i dont know.

Life is not that tough.i still have my buddies staying with me in f6.,awesome friends.and that makes a lot of difference.Going through a hard time with some understanding friends is just so warm. We have been motivating each others on academic since then.thank god. anyway,my heart feels empty seeing ppl around me start to leave us behind. cant imagine how many ppl left in my class.

Frankly speaking,my results are not that bad.yes,but im tired of staying in the range between the top or the bottom.im just in HALF WAY.and i hate this u know.im just somewhere there.ppl said this : u are neither the top nor the worst.God,that means im still in the half way.i really hate the 'half-way'term.

im kind of desperate.i dont know what should i aim for in f6.well of course, 4 flat/except that,i dont know what should i do.How abt my corriculum?how should i choose?what is the most comfortable situation for me?im kinda confused abt all this. i promise,im going all out for my studies. Fine all the teachers keep indicating that 'if u dont do well in f6,u just die off'"~ok,perhaps i was too confident abt my studies previously,i know f6 is much more different. never feel such desperate in my studies,i dont have confident.

Fine,im going to be a BOOKWORM~

btw,i feel sooooo soothing when chiang tieng texted me that ' Pls dont stop believing that God always gives the best thing to u' Thanks for this,because i always have faith in this.thanks for the reminds and it makes my day alot better.

soooooo,im not going to appeal for jpa.i will stick to f6 until the end.i know God always have all our pathway planned,thanks to Sir for this.

Its going to be a tough time,but i know i can do it no matter what.i love u always.