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Hi people, it had been a long time since i last blogged. just because i express myself much lesser these days, i think i forgot how to love myself when everything goes breaking apart. i always proud of my self- protecting power,but deep in my heart i always know that there is still a part of me who cares for how others think of me that much.im tired of changing myself somehow,but i admit that to survive through this society, sometimes we have no choice but to follow the trend and become who they want us to be,to be precise,is to be who they accept about us.

watever it is, just came back from usst camp,and of course there are alot to talk about. well, actually im very satisfied with everything we have done.its a great one, i never know that combination of guys and girls can be that perfect.everyone plays different roles,guys go for strictness and girls go for caring and guess what the effect is so good. although there are abit of messy things happen in between where preparation works are not properly done, its at least better than what i have expected.guys' last minute job is so impressing,perhaps they are too used to this kind of stuffs,so they can come out with a plan during the last minute.ohhhh, its too scary. anyway im glad lady luck is on our side, the weather is so good for the amazing race.yay, somehow im proud of my last minute plan changed without fear,wow,everyone performs their best at their station and i feel so thankful to them, well i smell the power of unity. get along with all usst excos, and i actually like the hugging session.its an appreciation night,and most of the humans just forget to show their love to people they feel thankful for,its a good chance and i always believe in the connection brought by just a simple hug.hees* too bad we dont hug ourselves, too shy i guess.

there are so many things that i m first exposed to,playing games in the community' like amazing race' is such a difficult game to be carried out for me, but things just go normally.they are too used to it, and im impressed by one mission where camper were to go back to school by 'boarding' some strangers' cars, and they actually did it.woahhhh O.O

there are times when i feel so unfair because servio always doesnt stand up for the right thing, he wants to please everyone which is always the key for him to fail in doing things.but frankly speaking, i always love his mind,he has unique and special ideas which can bring out things that can impress people so much. well, the dodgeball session where he masters the games so well and suceed in leaving people watching the match to be in such a 'big-mouth-opened' condition is so stunning.he is always a good players in everything, but perhaps not a good planner.well, please im trying to see the good sides of people always. i always dont understand the reason he carries out certain things,but the way that he insists to put the team building games in the pre camp is such a good decision.

there are still alot to scribble about. somehow i forgot how the struggles hurt always.i have undergo so much struggling and come out from it and now i get myself into another struggle again. sometimes, i also dont know how things work in me until im actually holding on to 'play fair' concept,but i know its not an easy job to do so.everyone is a grown up man already,and its kind of hard to 'teach' them when i feel something is wrong.woooh,im so busybody sometimes.ishhh.anyway, after the camp,i brought something out of the surface, i dislike it when he is the first who ask me why i do so. zhan ming and yon sheng act so normally to this,and for the first time i get the secureness from them,i know they understand the reason i do so. love them. well, there is war, but i never regret for this.i now its an awkward situation but i always believe things will work out as time goes.communication always works,there must be scars,but dont u think scars exist for a reason?to remind us of what we have done and whether things worth the efforts and hardworks or not.

Mistakes are the proof that we were trying.we are all wrong, so just forgive and forget,shut down and restart,everything will work out fine. from jia jia which is so touching=)

i smell the scent of reborn.haha.love is all around=)