Morning world. it is going to be a great day. went jogging in the morning and then had my breakfast at home. seriously, i really enjoy eating breakfast at home. i don't really know the reason, but having breakfast is the most wonderful thing in a day for me. that is why i am always looking forward to the starting of a day, just because of the simple breakfast. okay, i admit the fragrance of a simple cup of coffee is so overwhelming. i am actually not addicted to it, like how others lack of energy if they don't have it for a day. i just simply love the smell and not wanting to abandon it.

anyway, friday was zhan ming's birthday. and frankly, that wasn't a good day for me. everything was like packed into one day,rushing and rushing. everything seemed very messy to me. planning for his birthday wasn't a smooth process though, i guess recently shwu hwa , yon sheng and me were quite busy with our school homeworks , the fact is we want it that way, we want to just focus on studies and nothing else, although i am always the one not disciplined enough >.< spent our time back to school on thursday for a video recording. Ser Vio actually planned for the whole usst members to come back for that video shooting, but i think most of them couldn't make it. well, they actually could but i guess they didn't want to. somehow i understand that, coming back just for a simple friend for them is actually a tough task as their friendship with him isn't really that close until they are willing to sacrifice their time for a big ' celebration'. that is why i wasn't mad at them, u would understand if u put yourself in to their shoes. okay, that was still okay,went jogging with shwu hwa before we went back for that with all my laptops, pendrives and all those necessities brought along. reached school after that with yon sheng and ser vio in the usst room. just realised it actually took courage to record ourselves and our voice down, with other people holding camera for you. hmm, of course me and shwu hwa did that without any embarrassment, we are too used to this kind of things and are willing to do that for our good friend. But when it comes to guys, i think they are shy to do this kind of 'girly-touching' things. wow, it took a long time for them to get ready=.=  anyway i always like Edward's style of doing things. He accidentally came up without knowing it was cancelled for form 5s, we managed to record his birthday wish also. he did it without hesitating ! Good , fast and courageous enough. and then yon sheng's turn also. i have to admit that yon sheng is actually quite a perfect man, if you ignore his a little-bit of stubbornness. and lastly ser vio, he sat there for a long time ,and at last didn't record any video of him wishing zhan ming. oh, i was actually quite annoyed with that. he was the one planning it but he failed to lead a good sample in front and lastly he was the only one who didn't record. Fine, my internet at home during that time failed to function, so had to go to parade to surf internet. had some little argument about how video should be done as usual, we actually decided to just send everything to zhan ming's email and asked him to open it during his birthday. i was on that side, why do we want to make things so complicated? and i admit the video shooting part took a long time and we were afraid of wasting too much time on the video making. moreover shwu hwa and me were already discussed with band to surprise him with a birthday 'performance' specially to him. simple things will do, as what really matters are the hearts. and band things isn't something small already as we know how band meant for him, but then he insisted me to make one for him ,apologising. that really frustrated me. fine, if u want to do, u do it ,but why do you need to depend on people?

u know what, i wasn't angry for the decision he made, its just i dislike it when a guy need to rely on a girl. shouldn't a guy act stronger and more decisive? and i didn't mad at the mistakes people had done, everyone makes mistakes once or twice, what really matters is u realised your mistakes and change to a better. everyone deserves to have second chance,third chance and forth as behaviour isn't something that can be changed that easily at our age. but u have enough of that. u know it, u start to apologise but yet no action is taken. its time for you to be brave boy. i really mean this.

anyway we are good again now, zhan ming was quite worried about us, hmm, no worries, as no matter how angry we are towards any of us, we all know that we will get back along together in the end. hmm , it isn't bad also, we don't keep things inside, we just say it face to face when we have unsatisfied feelings in us.

well, on zhan ming's big day, okay, things were in a mess but of course he had his great day with all those 'not that surprising surprise' haha, i really like shwu hwa's brother and his band gang, they purposely stay to surprise him. credits to them , they did very well and i saw their sincerity. i was quite touched with that, they are such a cute gang=) yi shen them bought a present for him too, i was quite moved by their actions,it was a good one.after that, i didn't want to mention about fail checking. oh, it wasn't their fault to not understand though, i think i didn't really make my instructions clear, i am going to change it to a better next time.

oh, i had written quite a long one.still haven't finished. haha, oh ya i was actually on fire when i made the birthday video ,but when i saw so many people passing me their videos to him through pendrives and emails, even those friends who aren't at sam tet anymore, i was really touched and sincerely envy for his kind-hearted good friends. life is good huh? nothing can beat me, and i made it.=) love always push us forward, its such a powerful drive.

lastly, before the end, something really disappoints me a lot about my usst club which i don't know is it my fault or how should we mend it , or should we just let it be as we are going to retire officially. sometimes i really wish them to be more serious in doing things instead of just building friendships, chasing after entertainments.its not anyone's fault, its everyone's.i know even we as the main committees don't make the best of the club., the first time i feel so hopeless, not knowing how can i help to make it right, reaching out for those who feel lonely in the middle of laughter encoring all around. there are people in there really having fun , but there are also many that are being left out seeing others enjoying around, ready to break loose and fall out of this big family.its hard to admit it, but we are breaking apart. 

Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Some things fall apart so that other things can fall together. Be positive people!